My journey to jettison the jetsam out of my life and make room for new growth and abundance.
That’s a paraphrased quote from a contestant on The Biggest Loser’s “Cut the Junk” episode that re-ran last night. When Dolvett asked her how she got like this, she replied that she never saw herself as horribly obese. (I am paraphrasing from memory, but if you want the real quote, check out the episode online.)
This resonanted with me like a choir in a cathedral. This has been the part of my story that I have never seen reflected on any weight loss TV show, blog, group meeting, diet book, or anything. Everything I read about weight loss is rooted in self-hatred. Everyone seems to identify with the shame of being fat. Feeling gross. Thinking they are not beautiful, handsome, or attractive.
I have recently started following some amazing plus-size models and stylists on Facebook, including Tess Munster, Jessica Louise clothing, and Sealed With a Kiss Designs (SWAK). These women are part of my rebellion! Just because you’re fat – and even if you’re working to change your body shape or the number on your scale – you don’t have to feel anything less than gorgeous!
I recently said to my roommate, “I realize everytime I step out of this house and don’t hate how I look, I’m making a political statement.” I refuse to let self-loathing be my motivator for a healthier body.
For years of being fatter than everyone told me I should be, but I had no significant health issues tied to my weight. That has changed, which is my motivation to drop some pounds.
But it’s not about delcaring a certain clothing size the finish line for being pretty. That’s total bull. I am a hottie. I just need to strengthen my heart and get some pressure off of my veins so I can be a hottie for even longer.